In the Beginning, there was neither Earth, nor Sea, nor Light. This was called the Great Bugger All. Gaea, the Earthmother, sprung full-formed from the Great Bugger All. Then, the Alarm rang, and She muttered profanity and hit snooze. From the impact arose the stars in the night sky. The Alarm rang again, and Gaea became self-aware. "Wow, this place sucks," She said, and verily did She want company. "Let there be Others like Me," she proclaimed, and there were the Gods, including Cardia, Mardük, and Phil. Nobody liked Phil, so Gaea ate Him.
Time wore on, and the Gods looked around and stated yea verily that the Great Bugger All still sucked and something had to be done. Gaea then took a dump, and it became the Earth. The Earth floated amongst the Great Bugger All and the stars for aeons, and it was still boring as Hell. Thus, the Gods decided to create the seas and the forests and the Faerfolc. The Faerfolc were bastards, so the Gods created humans and dwarves and the French. The French were bastards, so Gaea ate them.
The rest, as they say, is history.