Scundia

Scundia
The flag of Scundia
Geographic Information
Alias(es)	Kingdom of Scundia People's Republic of Scundia Terror of the Civilized World
Capital	Scundor
Notable cities	Idunno Rivertown Seatown Shit Harbour Shithole
Region(s)	North in the Land of the Living Shares borders with: Maar Sul (north)
Societal Information
Language(s)	Common Scunnish dialects
Race(s)	Humans
Ethnic group(s)	Scuns
Demonym(s)	Scun
Allies	Grand Alliance (1003–1006 AE) Crimson Coalition (1016 AE–1017 AE)
Faction(s)	Third Age: Carriage Park Boys Proninist Party
Political Information
Government	Monarchy (2 ASS-1016 AE) People's Republic (1016 AE–1017 AE) Monarchy (since 1 AC)
King	Khasra III (in exile) (1006–1016 AE)
Historical Information
Age	Second Age Third Age Fourth Age
Preceded by Grandbell

"Holy fack!"

"Dear gods no..."

"It's...are those Scuns?"

"Angels and ministers of grace defend us!"

—Typical reactions from people who meet Scuns

Scundia is a nation on the Northern Continent in the Fourth Age. The kingdom is located south of Maar Sul, and its capital is Scundor. Despite the well-known stories of the low intelligence and gullibility of its population, Scundia is one of the oldest surviving nations with its origins going back to the Second Age. It came under control of the Proninist Party in 1016 AE in late Third Age, and it was turned into a People's Republic for a time until the Proninists were driven out at the dawn of the Fourth Age. Since then, Scundia has continued to exist much to everyone's surprise although rumors are conflicted on whether the kingdom is led by the once exiled King Khasra III, his daughter Maple Mallorein, or someone else entirely.

History

Second Age

See: Grandbell Civil War

Scundia was originally one of the provinces of Grandbell in the Second Age. Scuns led by Khasra I declared independence during the Grandbell Civil War, but nobody cared. Scun independence was recognized postwar by King Lysander Trathiel, and Scundor became the capital of the new kingdom.

Third Age

Distreyd Era

Not much was heard from Scundia during the Yamatian Invasion and the Great War. The Yamatians did invade the kingdom, but they soon realized that Scuns were more trouble than they were worth and left only a small garrison behind to keep the Scuns in check. The Grand Alliance eventually liberated Scundia but soon moved onward to Aison.

Scundia did not fully participate in the Great War but sent a small group of soldiers to aid the Alliance army...which caused the Alliance more trouble than it was worth when they had to deal with those extra few Scuns who tagged along and caused all sorts of mischief.

The Cataclysm didn't seem to register in most Scuns' minds. Or maybe they were just busy minding their own business or being oblivious as usual...or "drunk as fack" as the Scuns would say it.

Godslayer Era

The Proninist invasion of Scundia began with the infamous attack on Shit Harbour in 1016 AE. The rest of the kingdom was conquered a few days later when the Proninists promised Scuns free cake. King Khasra III, Princess Maple Mallorein and the few remaining Scun Loyalists managed to flee from Scundor to Maar Sul City, but the majority of Scuns remained under Pronininst control. The kingdom was renamed as the People's Republic of Scundia, and Pavel Serdiuk became the Premier, the Proninist-appointed leader in the nation.

After the Proninists joined forces with the Crimson Coalition, Craig Rimner's Secret Scundian Expedition appeared in Trinity Gask in Libaterra to swear allegiance to Warlady Glaurung Losstarot much to the Coalition's horror. The Coalition leaders grudgingly let Rimner have a seat in the war council, and Rimner eventually changed the course of history in the Coalition and Libaterra as a whole by introducing its population to Rimnerian Songs.

Fourth Age

After the Battle of Alent led to the disappearance of Glaurung Losstarot and the subsequent defeat of the Crimson Coalition, the many factions within it went their separate ways as the bickering generals couldn't decide on the Warlady's successor. Premier Serdiuk tried to keep the nation under the Proninist heel but was rumored to have been driven out by an uprising at the dawn of the Fourth Age.

Since then, little news have come out of Scundia although some rumors claim that either King Khasra III or his daughter, Princess Maple, had restored the Mallorein Clan back to the throne. Whatever the truth may be and whoever is truly in charge of the kingdom now, Scundia survived the next twenty years after the Catastrophe and is still existing much to everyone's surprise.

Geography

In the Second Age, Scundia was one of the bigger provinces of Grandbell. In the Third Age, Scundia is presently located south of Maar Sul.

The desert of Scundia stays warm throughout the winter, but few people from mainland Maar Sul, which is Scundia's only landbound neighbour, bother to go to the desert because they prefer to leave the Scuns in peace. Thisisa River goes through Scundia and provides access to Maar Sul in the north.

Most Scunnish cities lie either by the river or on the coastline. Some ruins also exist here and there in the deep desert and grasslands as reminders of some typical Scun architects who thought they could build cities so far away from a water source.

Demographics

Scundia is populated by humans who call themselves Scuns. They're known for their stupidity and are thus often referred to as the "Terror of the Civilized World". There have been many plans to build more public schools and educate the Scunnish populace although so far such plans haven't gone far. However, some Scuns have successfully enrolled into Maar Sulais colleges, but these Scuns aren't as populous as their more simple-minded brethren.

Politics

General

Scundia's politicians are a bunch of arseholes who can easily be bribed with cake...well, most of the time, anyway.

The kingdom was ruled by the Mallorein Clan from the capital of Scundor for generations. The head of the clan, King Khasra III, was forced into exile when the Proninist Party conquered his land in late Third Age. As a result the kingdom was briefly ruled by the Proninist-appointed Premier Pavel Serdiuk until he, too, was driven out after a popular uprising led by what some believed to have been Princess Maple.

In the Fourth Age, the kingdom appears to once again be ruled by the Mallorein Clan although such news are little more than rumors and are yet to be verified. Whatever the truth may be, Proninist influence in Scundia is completely gone.

Foreign relations

Maar Sul

Maar Sul is remarkably nice to their Scunnish neighbours, but it's speculated that the Maar Sulais only act this way in order to prove to the rest of the world that they want to be good and law-abiding people who tolerate all peoples on their doorstep. Many of the less-educated Scuns, however, are prejudiced against Maar Sul's tolerance as far as black people and gays (male homosexuals; Scuns don't seem to hold as many grudges against lesbians, at least based on academic research) are concerned.

Military

Scunnish military is not-so-competent, but it does have archers, cavalry and even a navy. Scuns usually got lost when they tried to attack anyone, including in the Grandbell Civil War, but the attack on Maar Sul under the Pronininst Party in the years 1016–1017 AE was the first successful foreign invasion that the Scuns had ever participated in.

Below is an example often used in class to show how an "ordinary" Scunnish army behaves on the battlefield. The example is based on actual documented events from the Second Battle of Victoire:

~

"There they are, boys," said Captain Serdiuk. "Archers ready!"
The captain of the Second Scun Archery Regiment relayed the order: "Ready the incid...incesti...incu...fire arrows!"
The Maar Sulais lumbered into range. "Fire!" shouted Serdiuk. "Fire!" repeated his Scun counterpart. "Fire! Fire! oh, shit. Fire!"
No arrows flew. Serdiuk risked a glance over his shoulder.
The entire Second Archery Regiment was rolling on the ground, engulfed in flames. Serdiuk sighed. It would have to be up to the cavalry.
"Cavalry, CHARGE!" he ordered.
A diseased yak charged at the enemy.
Serdiuk looked back again and saw only a bunch of confused Scuns, some of whom were still on fire. He sighed again.
"You guys on horses! Go fight the bad guys!" The Scun Cavalry Regiment charged.

Culture

Armor and Emblems

Many Scuns wear armor with a mix of black and gold to emulate the Maar Sulais armor or maybe just to piss off the Maar Sulais. The flag of Scundia is a drunken stag's head with a mix of red and gold against the a colorful backdrop.

Language

Dialect

Academic circles have had a centuries-old debate on whether Scuns actually have their own language or a dialect of Common. It does not help that many members of said academic circles are in fact Scuns who know jack shit about linguistics, the very field of study they're supposed to be discussing and researching. Most people with common sense simply shrug it off by saying that Scuns have their own dialect or vernacular, but the debate among linguists in universities (Scunnish ones at least) will likely never cease.

Below is an example often used in classroom to point out the different nuances between Common and Scunnish:

~

COMMON: "Pardon me, good sir. I am a translator looking for work, and it occurs to me that the government of Libaterra could use my services. Would you be so kind as to direct me to the capital?"

SCUNNISH: "Where the fack's the capital, ye stupid bastard?"

Nomenclature

Noble families are referred to as Houses by the Maar Sulais, even if they are foreign nobility. For example, a Maar Sulais would refer to Clan Mallorein as "House Mallorein." Maar Sulais influence on Scundia has caused Scuns to refer to all foreign nobility as Clans after this style.

Music

National Anthem

See: Scundia Doesn't Suck

Rimnerian Songs

See: Rimnerian Song

See also

• Attack on Shit Harbour
• Grandbell Civil War
• Maar Sul
• Mallorein Clan
• Pavel Serdiuk
• Scundor
• World Map (Godslayer Era)