A Rimnerian Song refers to Scunnish drunk-singing with misheard lyrics. Previously a pastime practiced only among Scuns, it became widely known after Craig Rimner introduced it to the Crimson Coalition when Rimner's Secret Scundian Expedition joined the Coalition in 1017 AE. The song type has been named after Rimner and has since spread all over Libaterra via Coalition agents in a matter of months.

History[edit | edit source]

After arriving at Trinity Gask and joining the Crimson Coalition in 1017 AE with his Secret Scundian Expedition, Craig Rimner inadvertently spread his native Scunnish culture by introducing the Coalition to a specific form of Scunnish pastime referred to as drunk-singing.

The specifics of the introduction of the song type in question are unclear but everyone at least agrees that it included lots of shagging and vomiting in the Hive of Scum and Villainy... also known as the local pub. The soldiers of the Coalition, or at least those who drank regularly, accepted this new song type with open arms and dubbed it the Rimnerian Song in honour of Craig Rimner.

Over the following months, many undercover Coalition agents ended up spreading Rimnerian Songs among the Libaterran populace. First the pastime reached western, Coalition-occupied lands but soon spread from there to the rest of Libaterra one drunk idiot at a time.

A heavy debate is going on in academic circles about whether Rimner was actually inspired by "The Forgiven Traitor", an old Ryuugumian poem which combined vulgarity with nonsensical lyrics, when he wrote the first Rimnerian Song.

How to Write a Rimnerian Song[edit | edit source]

The creation of a Rimnerian Song is detailed as follows in a pamphlet written by Craig Rimner:

  1. A person gets drunk like fack in a local tavern and listens to a fackin' song with an irritatingly catchy melody.
  2. To combat the nausea caused by the fackin' addictive song, the person starts singing along and mishears the song's actual lyrics in the process.
  3. The person writes the misheard (read: better) lyrics down in the following morning while suffering from a fackin' horrible hangover. That's right: a fackin' horrible hangover is a must if ye want to create the most memorable Rimnerian Songs. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS.
  4. The person gets drunk like fack again in the following night and sings with false notes the song with misheard lyrics.
  5. After finishing this first performance the singer must vomit continuously for an hour. Yes, exactly an hour. Not a fackin' second more or less.
  6. The singer must survive the rest of the fackin' night while being surrounded by an angry mob. The angrier the mob, the better chance of success the song has.
  7.  ???
  8. Profit!
  9. Congratulations! An ordinary song has been transformed into a Rimnerian Song. It's simple yet fackin' effective and is great fun for anyone drunk enough to listen to it.
  10. There's no tenth phase, ye fackin' dumbass! Go cut yerself!

Excerpt of a Rimnerian Song[edit | edit source]

An excerpt of the first widely known Rimnerian Song:

Melody by: Some fackin' slacker
Better lyrics by: Craig Rimner

Every time we touch, I feel Stalin

Every time we kiss, I swear I'm a guy

Can't you hear Tom Hart? He's short

Retry, fail, abort?

Want you in my eye!

Rimner's note: The second and fourth lines are fackin' hilarious if the song has a female vocalist.

See also[edit | edit source]

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