| Mary Sanders | |
| |
| Profile | |
| Status: | Dead |
| Age: | 17 (at time of death) |
| Race: | Human |
| Gender: | Female |
| Class: | Bureaucrat |
| Nation: | Libaterra |
| Faction: | Ciano |
| Era: | Third Age |
- "Show me your Big Mac."
- "You're that ecstatic already, eh? Don't worry, Uncle Ronald will let you drink his McFlurry once we've had some fun first--"
- —Mary Sanders to Ronald McDonald
Mary Sanders was the daughter of Colonel Harland Sanders in Ciano. She was seduced by the wandering clown Ronald McDonald who attempted to take her virginity from her. Before the pair could consummate their union in a corn field, they were intercepted by the ancient warrior Gilgamesh who killed them in cold blood.
Biography[]
Early Years[]
Mary Sanders was born as the daughter of Colonel Harland Sanders, a man famous for his fried chicken. The family lived in Ciano, beong one of the richest in the region.
Godslayer Era[]
Day of the Damned[]
- "Look, there's something--someone--inside! Maybe some poor soul got trapped into a spell by accident! We have to help!"
- "Oh for Hivena's sake, woman, be reasonable. I'm sure that person is perfectly alright in there! Let's carry on where we left off, shall we, while my Big Mac is still big! You know the effort I have to go through to make it stand out!"
- —Mary and Ronald McDonald
Mary met a wandering clown named Ronald McDonald during the Day of the Damned. He seduced her with some help from his magic. The two snuck out from Colonel Sanders's house and planned to consummate their union outside.
While the two were lying in her father's cornfield, a strange crystal suddenly emerged from the ground, interrupting their lovemaking. Mary noticed that someone was inside the crystal and asked Ronald to help the trapped person, but Ronald forced her to focus on him once more because he wanted to nail her ass and even a creepy crystal couldn't stop him from blasting his McFlurry all over her cherry pie.
However, the crystal burst open a moment later, and a man in golden armor emerged from it. He was the ancient warrior Gilgamesh who had remained in the crystal for millennia, but the lovers remained unaware of that fact.
Death[]
- "Are you a god?"
- "Uhh...no? My Pa makes some godly fried chicken though--"
- "Then...DIE!"
- —Gilgamesh and Mary
Gilgamesh inquired whether Mary was a god, to which Mary replied no. Gilgamesh decapitating her then and there much to Ronald's horror before he killed Ronald's ass too.
Aliases and Nicknames[]
- Mary
- What she was called.
Appearance[]
A blonde.
Personality and Traits[]
A blonde.
Powers and Abilities[]
She could wash the dishes and skin them tasty chickens.
Relationships[]
Harland Sanders[]
Mary cared for her Pa quite a bit but still had enough of a rebellious side to run away with a wandering clown. Her death shook Old Man Sanders greatly.
Ronald McDonald[]
Mary was only one of many young women in Ronald's list of conquests. He planned to leave her after he'd had sex with her, but things got complicated when Gilgamesh killed her before killing him too. Mary really seemed to have the hots for Ron, though, even though that feeling was partly fueled by Ron's magic.